Music

Lyrics from ‘The Idea and the Will’

The Idea and the Will album cover

Track Listing

  1. Duke Box Blues
  2. Day After Day
  3. Side by Side
  4. The Eyes Looking Back
  5. Happier Without Me
  6. I Liked the Way I Used to Be
  7. A Moment by the River
  8. Raining Again
  9. Edge of my Thoughts
  10. Victim Mentality
  11. Tell Me So
  12. Just Enough
1. Duke Box Blues

Bottoms up and I’m creeping back and I don’t even want to say thank you,

I’ve had enough, my heads rolled up and there’s puking by the pool table,

My mouth is dry from the 23rd roll-up and a man’s shouting bollocks from the corner,

The greased-back nightshift drunkards swaying and singing to his choice on the duke box blues.

 

The barman smiles and he says hello but he’s only counting his money,

Through beer and smoke and the usual folk, today the jokes just aren’t funny,

I put in my pound and glance around as a cue butt nudges my shoulder,

I press C9, B3, H1 then I’m singing to my choice on the duke box blues.

 

I don’t think I can stagger home, my knees will give way.

 

The kids walk in with big fat grins and huddle themselves in the corner,

They curse and hiss as I pass for a piss now I’m swaying by the urinal,

A voice from from cubicle one says something and a noise emanates from the second,

A blast of heat as I beat a retreat back to the sound of my choice on the duke box blues.

 

2. Day After Day

Waking up, feel my head pounding,

staggering across the landing

and down the stairs,

breakfast toast,

go to work,

eat some lunch,

Say hello, how are you?

come on home,

sit alone,

pen and paper with you.

Well I’ve been here before,

day after day day after day.

 

Weekend comes,

the pressures really on me,

who can I phone to comfort me

I just want to get drunk,

better phone up quick,

don’t want to sit alone again,

who will want me

while I hate myself,

what sane mind can sit through this shit,

I’m lucky, I have a good friend.

I’ve been here before,

day after day day after day.

 

Stagger home,

kick a road sign or two,

shout some abuse,

blame my life on somebody else,

fumble keys,

stare at the TV,

Smoke red eyes, heavy,

aching back,

fall asleep,

its cold when I awake at night,

pull up the soft quilt,

restless sleep,

get up late,

squint my eyes at the morning sun.

I’ve been here before,

day after day day after day.

 

3. Side by Side

If I fail,

can I have my life again,

would you undress me and put me to bed

where I can curl up small and hide away,

and when things go beyond my simple grasp,

and slip on by into the dark

where i find it hard to fall

and take control

 

You’ve got to believe in yourself

you’ve got to feel in control

Not in the middle of a mess.

 

And if I sail

past all my hopes and dreams

that I held dear when I was young,

I want to stand up tall and say I tried

and if I turn away and then return,

can i take your arm and walk side by side,

open your mouth and say those words

that I want to hear.

 

You’ve got to believe in yourself

you’ve got to feel in control

Not in the middle of a mess.

 

4. The Eyes Looking Back

Forget my face I’m nothing

Leave this place, you are free

Staring for so long into the mirror

But the eyes looking back don’t help me

Don’t help me.

 

I’ve made up my mind to stand by you

And when you’re gone I can see

What it is to be with you

But do the eyes looking back want me?

Do they want me?

 

I miss your hugs in the evening

They make me smile when I’m down

But I’m not sure that I’m worth it

But the eyes looking back they want me

They want me.

 

5. Happier Without Me

I know I’ve been stupid most of my days,

no-one can blame me more than me,

there’s one thing I don’t want to know,

Is how happy you are without me,

It’s how happy you are without me.

 

No excuse I’m stuck in darkness when in sunshines,

I open up my eyes and I can’t see,

But there one thing you can say for me to go,

it’s how happy you are without me,

how happy you are without me.

 

I’ve worked hard at work but I’m losing it at home,

I’m bottled up and isolated from you,

I’ll understand when you say to me,

I’m leaving, I’m happier without you,

I’m leaving, ‘cos I’m happier without you.

 

6. I Liked the Way I Used To Be

I woke up that fateful day

Wondered where my future lay

You turned my world upside down

Because you said you loved me.

Wavy wavy dark black hair

Smiling face I had no care

intoxicating liqueur store

beckons me no more… well sometimes.

 

I liked the way I used to be

I liked the way I used to be

Sad and lonely in my tree

I was comfortable you see

But I suppose that now I’m free

 

You opened up my eyes that day

I couldn’t think of what to say

I was sad and happy

Both at the same time

I look out of the window

See her standing there

As my face turns green

I wondered where my heart has been… in my stomach

 

I liked the way I used to be

I liked the way I used to be

Sad and lonely in my tree

I was comfortable you see

But I suppose that now I’m free

 

Well it’s getting on and I’m feeling old

My bodies young but my mind is mouldy

Those early moments appear again

They tell me what its all about

So here I sit alone today

Two years or so the game we’ve played

Roller coaster up and down

I’m sure I’m getting better now… so happy

 

I liked the way I used to be

I liked the way I used to be

Sad and lonely in my tree

I was comfortable you see

But I suppose that now I’m free

I never thought I’d hear myself

Say I was so happy

I suppose now I’m free.

 

7. A Moment by the River

Here I am sitting by the river,

there it is staring back at me,

The sun is shining through the canopy down on me

Here I sit and I’m not sure that its me.

 

I’ve just realised what means more to me,

I could not see that in front of me,

It’s the family.

 

I would never profess to being perfect,

Neither thank God would anyone,

what good does it do, comparing me to you,

when all I need to know is you’ll be there for me.

 

I’ve just realised what means more to me,

I could not see that in front of me,

It’s the family.

 

The voice, speaking back in distant tones,

just enough to help me through again,

a human touch when God has gone and left me bare,

It’s then I realise that you’ll be there for me.

 

I’ve just realised what means more to me,

I could not see that in front of me,

It’s the family.

 

8. Raining Again

I put my hat on step outside,

its raining again.

Dark and cold, my necks exposed,

As I pull my scarf in tighter.

I don’t think I can go on,

no I don’t think I can go on.

 

Streetlight casts a yellow glow

on icy street below.

We gathered here on that funeral day,

seems like yesterday

I don’t think I can go on,

no I don’t think I can go on.

 

And there’s the field we’d run a play

football all day.

The heart was light, it seemed so bright,

I think I grew too fast

A misty path through an old church yard,

where I know God’s on guard.

Screeching cars, turf out from bars,

a distant drunkard shouting.

I don’t think I can go on,

no I don’t think I can go on.

 

A bustling queue to a dirty van,

through paper and lager cans

Young Asian man he gets a stare,

large group, white, don’t care.

I don’t think I can go on,

no I don’t think I can go on.

 

The noise it fades I move away,

see two shadows down an alley way.

They stop to kiss, embrace and smile,

then walk off hand in hand.

I don’t think I can go on,

no I don’t think I can go on.

 

Resigned pause as I push the door,

I don’t think I can take much more.

Stagger up towards my bed,

Drunk again I can rest my head.

I don’t think I can go on,

no I don’t think I can go on.

 

Roll a cigerette and toke it hard,

It’s still raining hard.

Sip the whisky from my flask,

getting through a day seems harder.

I don’t think I can go on,

no I don’t think I can go on.

 

9. Edge of My Thoughts

If I cannot care for me

Then how can I share my life with you

But someday, motivating’s tough without you

 

It’s mad, but on those happy days

The back of my mind is wondering, how long it will last

The pain of leaving everything and holding on to time as it move past

 

10. Victim Mentality

Victim mentality

The state doesn’t owe me anything

I can make it on my own

I can face the world alone if I wanted to

 

It’s easy to blame all but me

The pain I feel, the troubles that I’m going through

It’s not someone else’s fault

It’s my own, it’s my own

 

I don’t look above no more

The love I feel for those I’ve lost is inside of me

The life I choose to live is mine

It is mine, it is mine

 

11. Tell Me So

When you decide that you don’t want me no more,

Turn you head, break my heart, walk out the door.

When the sky is dark and we drift apart,

Just write or phone but tell me so,

Please tell me so.

 

When you decide that you don’t want me know more,

Walking through the acts of love but nothing more,

If you’re hanging onto dreams without me there,

just write or phone but tell me so,

Please tell me so.

 

12. Just Enough

Its late but I forgot to say

Thank you, so I’m saying it today

You did just enough to save me

By giving out all you had to give

By giving out all you had to give.

 

Life worried you each day

A ruffled brow gave it all away

There’s no way we can deny

That being there was just enough for us

That being there was just enough for us.

 

Now that you have passed on

I didn’t want you to go unsung

Thanks for the bad undone

As I sit alone right now

I begin to wonder how

If I did not understand

I sure as hell know now

I sure as hell know now

 

Life worried you each day

A ruffled brow gave it all away

There’s no way we can deny

That being there was just enough for us

That being there was just enough for us.


 

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