I’m present, but not.
Eyes drifting
their attention’s shifting
to positives greener,
anywhere but with me, here.
Constantly assessing my words,
misinterpreting thought,
caught
in limbo,
nowhere to go.
A know-not in a room of knows.
Subconscious flagellation,
uncomfortable
brain and tongue freeze,
ease
out of the room
to solitude, just for a moment.
It’s the vacant half smiles,
the application of absence,
moving away,
a social stray,
more fun to have elsewhere,
anywhere but with me today.
Sat under a London plane
ashamed and blamed.
Soothing breeze, pleased
away from the crowd,
a good crowd,
with more than a pinch
of idealism,
of altruism.
To wish on a stone
enter without ripples,
to submerge without fear,
to get respect from a peer,
to actually enjoy, right now, here.
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